Crime and Crooks

I got in my car to grab my Sunday coffee and paper yesterday morning, buckled up and noticed someone's forehead print on the outside of my driver's side window. Someone was peering into my car last night and left their greasy head print and smudge of a nose behind. I am so very pleased the thief found nothing interesting inside my car and moved three cars over to bust my neighbor's window.

As soon as I saw the prints, I shut her down and hopped out to look for the auto burglary victim. Sure enough, my neighbor's brand new Audi sported a fractured passenger window. The crack pattern of the glass shows a spark plug was probably used to fracture it. The window cracks quietly and crumbles inward with a light push, giving the thief full access without any jagged glass to get cut on.

I went back upstairs to tell my neighbor he'd been fleeced. He ran down ahead of me in his boxers and spewed a stream of F bombs. He'd left his brand new Garmin GPS portable unit affixed to his windshield. Gone. His iPod left in his car kit, gone. His gym bag in the trunk, gone. He also never locks his glove box. His insurance paperwork and registration, gone. So now not only does he have to replace all his gadgets and window, but he has to monitor for identity theft, too. What a pain in the ass. Always lock your glove compartments.

My neighbor was so angry he wouldn't listen to me telling him not to touch anything. He opened the trunk, the glove box, climbed all around the seats and slapped the dashboard where his GPS used to be. I can totally relate, but as I told him the police would not respond to print his car since he'd disturbed everything. Instead, they take a telephonic report.

You might think it a total long shot for an auto burglar to be made on prints, but you'd be surprised. If latent prints are found, they're lifted and scanned into IAFIS. There may already be a match for your particular crook and then fun's over for them. If not, trust me when I say auto burglars are like the toddlers of crime. They crawl before they walk, and when they start walking they move on to residential burglary or violent crimes. Sooner or later their prints will be taken when they're arrested and then your auto burglary will come back to haunt them. So, don't touch your burglarized vehicle. Call police as soon as you notice forced entry. Make sure to tell them you have not touched anything and want a unit to respond for printing.

Thieves are not going to bust your window unless they see a little treat inside your car. I am so happy the wanker saw nothing in my car worth his trouble and so pissed that he screwed with a very nice neighbor. Remember, keep your belongings out of sight unless you like playing with fire. It takes about 30 seconds for experienced thieves to break in and steal everything worth anything. Even if you hear the window smash, they'll be long gone by the time you call police and a unit arrives. Why not spend the same 30 seconds bringing your hard-earned stuff inside with you?